Friday, August 21, 2009

Auditioning for life, that's what I do. Always reinventing myself, constantly changing. I change my hair, my make-up, my clothes. What I have changed, is myself.I am releasing myself of past negative thinking and moving into my light. What's your passion, I'll share mine, you share yours and together we all co-create the path to our perfection.
Actors have passion for life. We also have the ability to share our passion with , well...anyone who'll watch. We research our roles. We explore different possibilities of each line we deliver, every level of emotion explore. We become who we perceive ourselves to be.
My favorite poet wrote"to be or not to be? that is the question." Well I know my answer to that question, having played Hamlet and explored the role for years.I read every book, watched every film and live performance I could. Reading, and re-reading. Rehearsing and reheasing. I put myself in his world, I achieved the depths and heights of emotions of his life and death.
I grew. I changed my way of looking at the world.
Every time we read a book, or poem and let it bathe over us, letting every word wash over our minds; quenching our thirst for feeling our own power. Our power to be who we are.
We hear over and over again, "let go of our past mistakes". I say, embrace them hold the tight. I thank them for giving me the chance to experience, change and grow! It's the thought process that got us into those difficult situations that we need to reexamine.
When I was 22 people thought it was a mistake for me to leave RI College to go follow a boy to Germany. But, I was so fearless then, I went, yes and I made my share of "wrong " decisions, then, not being able to stand-up for myself in alot of ways. But, thru all the tears and beers, I have precious memories of "that Crazy" year I spent in Europe. Not, everyone can say that, and no one can take some of any of those memories away from me. When I cam home a year later, RIC was still there, it hadn't change but I had.
One June, many moons later, I was visiting my friend Bob, in New York City. It was my birthday, so I picked up a Backstage and started circling auditions. The first one I went on was for a dancer in an off-off Broadway show. I went: I read, I sang, I danced....I GOT THE PART! So I stayed in New York! Got bumped up to lead role with in a month. And spent a year working at The New York Comedy Club, doing amazing Improv with Alan Chan and the Improv-ables. Drank alot of tequila with Arte Lange and other funny folks. It was a great time.
Then there was the summer I spent in Maine working on a schooner. My beautiful brother and then soon to be wife brought me there. This led to one of the longest winters in my life....miscarriage, molar pregnancy,malignant tumor, physical abuse.....but there, I found the power of the Goddess, the Tarot and many books that led me on a path shiny with crystals, meditation, and metaphysical Love.
I came home again, then I met my husband.....that's another story for another time...I'll just say this:
We have been married ten years, have two beautiful children, and now have learned to be who I am, live my life, and my share my passion.
My Mother and Father are the perfection of Unconditional Love, I basque in their everlasting light.
A spent a decade in the Sunshine State, Yoga becoming a focal point in my life. But, it was in the Ancient City of sweet St. Augustine where I found: The Science Of Mind and the teachings of Ernest Holmes.
After 20 years of reading every Deepak Chopra book, and everything from the Autobiography of a Yogi, to to many "self Help" who are you, be this, find that books. This all made sense to me. The Truth, it was so easy.
I sang my hearts song to God with such joy. Finding friends who were like- minded and really being able to just Be who I really was.
I love being a Mom, a Wife, a performer, a sister, a daughter, a lover of life.
Now I am back in my home state, Yo Vinny! Back in Lil Rhody r yes. I have reconnected with some great old friend and made some special new ones. I'm back where I started...Yes, but who knows for how long...for my dreams are taking me to placed unknown.
I am visioning my new life every day. Taking all my "mistakes", "bad Choices" and looking at them. Taking what is good, and throwing the rest away. Cleaning out my soul. Hitting the reset button.
I am giving myself the Freedom to believe in myself. I am good. I am Powerful. I am wearing the Armor of Light, I know that there is no difference between God and Good, I am good, I am God, I am Peace, I am LOVE.
I am following my passion. What is stopping us all from doing this. Nothing.
And so it is.

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